


Myopia

by Victorionious



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, mentions of the Awakening fam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 03:57:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6938701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Victorionious/pseuds/Victorionious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the things that could have happened, that had happened, and it led here, to this.</p><p>Anders looks to the past, because he's unable to see the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Myopia

**Author's Note:**

> Part of a series of prompt challenges (prompts listed here: http://aromanticgcallen.tumblr.com/post/144666238426/obscure-feelings-drabble-prompt-meme), characters assigned to me by my good friend Lexie.
> 
> Prompt: Énoument  
> Character(s): Anders

> **ÉNOUMENT:** The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

Had he known, those dark days in the Circle, when he stared wistfully out the window at the sky and the clouds and wished he could spontaneously sprout wings, that he’d stumble on some obscure, overlooked magic in one of those books in the library that would teach him forbidden shapeshifting arts, that he could just take flight and never look back – had he known, then, what was waiting for him when he did, he… would’ve done it anyway, he confessed to himself late at night. Without hesitation.

He had endured so many punishments for his frantic swipes at freedom, and even when he achieved it he was never safe, never felt whole, but even then, he didn’t regret it.

He didn’t regret the time, however brief, he’d had with the Wardens. Even though it had ended tragically, he wouldn’t trade the jokes with Sigrun, the drinks with Oghren, the snark with Nathaniel, even the biting comments he shared with Velanna – not for anything. And Surana? Surana had done more for him in the course of a month than anyone had ever done for him his entire life, not even Karl. He missed them, painfully, and only wished he hadn’t allowed himself to care quite so much, but even that wish was fleeting.

For a time, things had been so much better than he ever could have imagined. Helping people, sleeping in a room of his own, having friends who weren’t mages, and those who were but who chose to spend time with him of their own volition, not just because of circumstance. Really making a difference in other people’s lives, saving them even. He’d loved it.

Then. Justice.

He didn’t regret that either, what he’d done. He’d been helping a friend. Had he been able to warn himself and Justice, before, had he known what he would do to the spirit – then maybe… but it was too late. What was done was done, and there was no earthly way of taking it back.

As he placed the potion he’d brewed in the basement of the Chantry, he wondered what he’d think of his actions, a year bygone. He let out a laugh, tinged with the Fade. Even if it had been possible for him to give himself some sort of warning, he’d never live long enough. They’d kill him for what he was going to do, if not Hawke then Fenris or Sebastian certainly, and that would only be if Meredith and the Templars didn’t get to him first. He hoped he was doing the right thing, and somehow in his heart of hearts, deep inside of him where he and Justice were so tangled up they were completely indistinguishable, they both knew that he was.

He only wished he’d be there to see it.

**Author's Note:**

> I took a little bit of liberty with the prompt, but I think I still did okay! Let me know <3


End file.
